reviewofmycat:

Cat: Willow

Owners: David, Larry (Jon and Whitney)

Appearance: F

The dirty little vagabond considers personal hygiene an antiquated notion. There is dried feces [insert preposition] her fur. Stinky dirty fur. The rogues fur. That’s where she kept it, her dirty little secret. Short, balding, devious. Her name is Willow, she killed my mother.

 Sociability: F

The animal truly means well, but she gets in too many fights with people to appreciate her erotic qualities. By “people” I mean the floor.

Usefulness: F

Take it or leave it.

Huggability: F

See my assessment on my cat’s appearance. She’s a big, overgrown monster always thinking about food. 

Overall Grade: F

[Ed. note: Based on this grade, Review of My Cat cannot officially recommend this cat, even if she does seem kind of amazing.]

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